Depression I deal with constantly.

[Footmuffin]

I had a period a short while ago where I felt pretty similar to the way you are. I was very self-hateful and seriously wanted to die, and had even made several attempts. I was over it for a bit, but shortly thereafter, I experienced a somewhat different, grayer shade of depression where I took to cutting myself and felt very tired and heartsick.

 

I truly hate to sound all pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps-y, but toward the end I convinced myself that I was very very neurochemically unbalanced and that I should just try to push myself to feel happy and not hate myself over things I can't change anymore. I'm over the whole unbalanced thing, but trying to gently push myself to feel happy and recognizing the futility of guilt seems to have helped.

 

Since then I have adopted a somewhat different (but not really), sane, and more comfortable identity. I've learned to just stay away from doing or saying anything that I would feel guilty and self-hateful over, and aspire to the closest degree to perfection I can bring myself to achieve.

 

Keep in mind that you will learn if you try. Rephrasing questions or situations in more understandable words, such as taking "The tendons in the hand Bob was hitting the nails in the plank with were getting sore, so he stopped." and rephrasing it as "Bob's hand was getting tired from hammering nails through the planks, so he rested it for a bit." or something along those lines if you are in need of clarification. 

 

Sorry if this seems too long or personal, I just feel very different now that I've grown up since that period, and thought I should share a bit to help out someone in a similar situation. I'm 15, and most of that happened when I was between 13 and 14, but I hope that it could be helpful or relevant to you in some way.

[Aricane]

 

 

I didn't need to cheat practically at all last year, but in Geometry.

[...]

I actually plan on going to college for a degree in Computer Science, specializing in Programming. Who knows, maybe I could try to net a job at TIS.

 

Sadly, right now I'll let you in on the little secret that half-decent Math is a bit of a requirement for most programming (and Computer Science).

Algebra, Logic, and Geometry are all pretty vital skills in various parts of programming - depending what you want to specialise in of course.

 

For example, you'll need to understand matrix algebra, at least in a very broad sense, to get anything much done in computer Graphics. Again, for computer graphics you'll need to know your basic geometry - angles within the segments of a sphere etc.

NPC AI, you'll want a decent knowledge of logic systems, as well as geometry for detection radii and cones.

Basic Physics ends up a combination of vector mathematics and collision geoemetry.

 

Pretty much every facet of low-level computer programming (within the scope of gaming) requires one or more specialisation in some form of maths.

 

 

... Well there goes my dreams of working with computers. No idea what I'm going to do now.

 

... so you're throwing that away just because of one guys oppinion? 

[Pixel Bombs]

... so you're throwing that away just because of one guys oppinion? 

Its not really an opinion. You need to understand math for coding. But yeah, just because its hard doesn't mean you should just throw in the towel. What kind of sense does that make? You won't achieve anything from not doing the work.

[EnigmaGrey]

 

 

... Well there goes my dreams of working with computers. No idea what I'm going to do now.

 

... so you're throwing that away just because of one guys oppinion? 

 

It's not really an opinion...

I've been looking at uni courses, and most of them do. I have to apply for foundation year courses.

 

And I really do need to take a few high school courses in mathematics to build up my faulty foundations before looking at a comp sci program. Sigh.

Soon, and such.

[RoboMat]

... Well there goes my dreams of working with computers. No idea what I'm going to do now.

Well, I can tell you this: I've been programming and doing (pretty decent) 3d modelling since I was about 14 or 15, but I never put more effort into really learning (aka studying) it, because I thought it would never lead to anything. I thought that I would never be really good at it and that there are far more talented people in that sector.

Nowadays I know that it was stupid to think this way. I think you can achieve anything if you really want to. It might take you longer than others, but if you really want to I think that you can really do it. From what I've read I think that you have the skills to make it, but deep down in your head you actually don't want to. It sounds like you are just waiting for someone to tell you, that you shouldn't do this or shouldn't do that, because the easiest excuse is the one you didn't make yourself. As soon as realmkeeper tells you about one of the barriers you would have to face, you decide that you can't take it. Unfortunately life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, at some point you will hit a point where you either can stop and live the rest of your life finding excuses to why it didn't "workout" for you, or you can sit down on your ass and push through it.

Of course you can live your whole life by avoiding obstacles, but then you will be defined by the things you did not do instead of the things you did do. There is a great great speech by J.K. Rowling which I highly suggest that you listen to, because she put it in the perfect words:

 

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

So what do I suggest? Sit down and really think about what interests you (and not where you think your talents lie) and then start working to achieve that goal. If you ask me, there isn't really such a thing as talent. Okay if a five year old draws the Mona Lisa - THAT's talent, but most of the time the "talented" people are simply the hardest working people. I see this in my studies over and over again. You can't believe how often I heard the sentence "Gnaaah I don't get it, I'm just not talented..." but those were (mostly) the people you never saw in the library nor in the classes. I guess you know what I mean by that.

 

 

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but that's what I think about it. You don't need someone telling you that you can't do stuff, you just need someone who kicks you in the ass to finally get going.

[willow512]

So, I know this is going to sound like angsty, teenage emo bullshit, trust me, I've listened to myself, but these are all legit concerns I have that I REALLY need people's help with, mainly people who have more life experience than I do. If you don't want to see my emotional bullshit, just go ahead and read another topic. You've been warned.

 

So I'm going to be 17 in a few months, and lately I've been reflecting a lot on my life, and my friends. Especially my girlfriend whom I've been dating almost a year now. She goes to a private school, and has a much better education than I do, and is much better at taking in info than I am. She's only 13, yet knows WAY more than I do about math, science, history, etc. and is much more wise than I am. Me? I for some reason can't soak up info. It can stay in my head for a while, but it slowly goes away no matter how much I try to remember or study. All the info that DOES stick is useless shit from movies, video games, etc. So basically, I'm a walking treasure-trove of completely useless knowledge that will not aid me in the future at all.

 

And then comes skills. I know people who are great artists and have various skills that are incredibly unique and creative. I have nothing like that. No, I don't have some "unrealized skill/potential," that I haven't found, I have no skill. I cannot paint/draw, I cannot write, dance, sing, anything. All I can do is sit around and play through a video game on a somewhat high difficulty. With all the reflection I've done, I've realized I have no useful skills or knowledge, and lack the capability to build them. I'm literally dumb, and useless. Or maybe I'm wrong. I don't know anymore.

 

Sorry for all that shit, I've just been rather depressed for a while now because of this.

tl;dr some random tips generated from my own experience in getting from where you are now to where I am now. I realize it's a wall of text, but it contains enough information to fill a book. In fact it contains stuff I got from a few books

 

First of all, and I'm going to sound very corny now, but because it's true I say it anyway, it's normal at your age to doubt yourself. I sure did! You haven't discovered your options yet to the degree you will have in 10 years, and at that point you're still not fully actualized. I'm 37 now, I don't believe I've found my limits of growth yet. When I was 16 I didn't believe I was good at anything either. But it turns out I am actually good at many things. I'm pretty sure you'd kick ass too if you believed you could.

 

Your ability to store "useless" information is already going to be super usefull in social situations, people love "Did you know that"'s, especially if it's in their area of interest, if you learn how to use them they'll rock. But more importantly it's a dead giveaway, it shows that you automatically store what you pay attention to. School is not as interesting as video games is it? That's not your fault! it's a fact of life, people who think otherwise are a little weird. But there's stuff you can do! You don't need to work harder at school, you just need to work smarter.

 

Thing is you are not "someone who can learn", or "someone who can not", you can actually learn to learn! There's tricks for this, they're all out on the internet so make a project of it! Hint: Google lifehack. And that's good general advice, if you feel you've got a problem you can't solve, make a project of it, google it, and you'll discover that others have solved the same problems for themselves. Follow their example.

 

Check out the pomedori system, it's a method where you use an alarm clock to focus your attention. You promise yourself to spend a full 25 minutes on a task, and then get 5 minutes total goofing off time. The trick is when you're distracted from whatever you're doing during the 25 mins, mentally store it, and then get to it during the break. You can shift around the times, use 15 minutes on 15 minutes off if it's too hard at first. (Do realize that the first 5 minutes are always chaos, if you get through that you'll find a focus, but first 5 minutes are always a struggle) This will help you focus and is going to do wonders for those pesky school jobs. You'll probably get things done in a lot less time than you're used to, giving you more video game time and higher grades (who says you can't have it all?). I use this at work, if I don't I slack off on reddit and forums like this one (There's programs for it on pc and on smartphones if you have one of those)

 

Practice mental hygene. There's thoughts that quite literally kill you and thoughts that will make you awesome. Thoughts like "I am  a failure" are killers, stop thinking them because they will damage you, before you know it you start to prove to yourself and the world that you are a failure, and it's just not true! You're nothing but the canvas you define yourself on. If you are something then that's because you made it so. It's better to think nonsensical positive thoughts than negative ones. It might not be immediately obvious how to stop yourself thinking negative thoughts. It's a process of training, when you detect a negative thought, smile, and use a more positive antidote. "I can't do this." -> detect -> "Maybe I'm not the best at it but I can do it" and then later on replace with "I can do it, I did it once" later on replace with  "I did it before can do it again." and then later with "Yay! I get to do it again."

 

Fake it untill you make it is a good creed. Most people accept cute coins. For example if you try to make a romantic date for a woman and screw it up she's going to love you much more than if you don't try. (Most will actually love you more because of your flaws! Our flaws make us accessible, make us human, make us something others can relate to, especially when we try) So hand out what you feel is cute coins. I think you'll learn it's actually hard and valued currency.

 

Accept fuckups: If you want to change something about yourself, accept that there is going to be another fuckup situation in your future, demanding yourself to be without any failure is demanding yourself to fail. Don't expect your thoughts and habits to turn on a dime. Accept fuckups, use them as proof that you're getting better  (And certainly not as proof that you cannot do it!), you'll see them gradually decline in their "fuckup quality". Use the next fuckup as an opportunity to practice your newfound skills. Fuckups really are our friends they are the best teachers! Even if they can be rough.

 

Find and immitate your role models. One of the easiest ways to master some life skill or anything for that matter. Is to find and identify someone who is actually good at this, then study them a little bit, figure out how they came to the point they're at in their life. Ask them if you can (People love to be asked for advice about something they're good at). And then immitate, you won't be perfect, and their method won't fit like a glove, but you'll learn great things untill the point where you'll naturally find your own way of doing that thing. Be wary of rebel role models, they have good qualities, but their lives usually aren't as rosey as you'd want yours to be.

 

Most important thing for you to realize, (most important lesson in my life!) is that you have control over what you ARE. You are nothing, nothing but what you define yourself to be. If you don't like something, make a project out of it, learn how others solved your problem and experiment with different ways of doing stuff untill you find something that works. When I started school people (including me) estimated me to be among the least intelligent students. At a certain point I began to discover myself and now people consider me gifted. That's only because *I* chose to change things, and because I believed in people who believed in me. 

 

Good luck! If there's questions, don't hesitate. 

[Realmkeeper]

 

 

 

... Well there goes my dreams of working with computers. No idea what I'm going to do now.

 

... so you're throwing that away just because of one guys oppinion? 

 

It's not really an opinion...

I've been looking at uni courses, and most of them do. I have to apply for foundation year courses.

 

And I really do need to take a few high school courses in mathematics to build up my faulty foundations before looking at a comp sci program. Sigh.

Soon, and such.

 

Quote, quote, quote.

 

I wasn't trying to crush your dreams, I was trying to open your eyes.

Rather than looking at it as me telling you "you can't do it", read it as "do your best to learn the math, and the rest will come easily".

 

As many of the others have said in this thread, it's not about making limits and boundaries to abide by, it's about drawing a line and pulling yourself over it, no matter how hard.

Mentally, I think anyone can do anything (Well, almost anyone. Anyone not restrained by a handicap). Physically, I think almost anyone can do anything that anyone else can do, though it would involve much more exertion.

 

I was always looked upon as a bit of a nerd at school, I 'naturally' did well at most subjects. I put that down to wanting to understand the reasons behind things, not just accepting them at face value.

If you understand the concept behind something, you can usually also deduce and understand things you've never been taught or seen before - especially true in Maths and Science. Super true when it comes to Physics.

 

If you ever want some motivation, or a pushing/guiding hand, hit me up via PM. I'd be more than happy to be helping out an 'apprentice'

[SiC]

It's all down to your personal mentality as far as I'm concerned. If you know how to push yourself, you can achieve anything you set out to do. It might be more difficult than it is for others, or it might be easier. If nothing else, give it time. Time has a way of altering your perception. Perseverance is key: if you give up, will you get anywhere? No, you won't. No situation is ever so bad that you can't get out of it, or you can't move ahead. Ever. It all comes down to mentality.

 

 

I'm a sucker for motivational speakers and video's, and they might be cheesy sometimes. But very often there is a core of truth that can't be denied.

Like here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOlTdkYXuzE now you can't tell me you have it worse than this guy had, and still he manages to get joy out of life every day. It didn't come easy though. But everything in life takes effort.

[DrummerKidJack]

No situation is ever so bad that you can't get out of it, or you can't move ahead. Ever. It all comes down to mentality.

Not sure about the 100% veracity of that. I'm all for personal agency, but sometimes the world just fucks you over and over and it's not possible for you to "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" and push through it. Your environment and your station in life does, unfortunately, have quite a large level of control over you. We hear all these heartwarming stories of people who overcome their obstacles and turn their whole lives around, but you have to remember they are the minority. For every person who makes it big, there's a thousand or more who fall flat on their arses.

 

It's a nice thought that you can do anything if you put your mind to it, and sure, if you truly apply yourself you have a much, much higher chance than those who don't, or apply themselves less. But, unfortunately, a big factor in large success is simply luck.

 

I can nearly guarantee you that nearly all of the big names in our society, whether they're actors or industrialists or inventors, would have never have succeeded if they hadn't had the luck to combine a specific number of traits in a specific place at a specific time. Imagine if Mark Zuckerberg had been born 30, 20, or even 10 years earlier than he was. Imagine if he had been born in a country without such a high technological advantage. He would never have invented Facebook and become the household name he is today.

 

But that's a generalized thing innit, I think in a lot of small individual cases it most certainly is perseverance that serves you best. If you want to do well in a test, study, if you want to get a certain job, educate yourself in it's workings or get experience, if you want to overcome depression, you take your meds, you figure out your triggers, you follow your doctor's advice.

 

I've gone on and on about how luck is a major factor, and that may come across as me saying don't bother applying yourself. That's not what I'm saying. The thing is with luck, is that it's unstable. It may strike now, it may strike later, it may never strike at all. The only thing that you can actually control is how hard you work, and that if luck manages to wing your way, you're in a position to take full advantage of it. Without that hard work, you might get lucky, but you won't be able to capitalize, and in those cases it may as well not have struck at all.

 

tl;dr work hard and work well, but hard work isn't everything. Luck is a factor, even if it's something like you being born in this century or within a specific culture.

 

EDIT: also, everything changes (when the fire nation attacks...) depending on your definition of success. But then we're gonna get philosophical and shit.

[TheCenturion]

 

No situation is ever so bad that you can't get out of it, or you can't move ahead. Ever. It all comes down to mentality.

Not sure about the 100% veracity of that. I'm all for personal agency, but sometimes the world just fucks you over and over and it's not possible for you to "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" and push through it. Your environment and your station in life does, unfortunately, have quite a large level of control over you. We hear all these heartwarming stories of people who overcome their obstacles and turn their whole lives around, but you have to remember they are the minority. For every person who makes it big, there's a thousand or more who fall flat on their arses.

 

It's a nice thought that you can do anything if you put your mind to it, and sure, if you truly apply yourself you have a much, much higher chance than those who don't, or apply themselves less. But, unfortunately, a big factor in large success is simply luck.

 

I can nearly guarantee you that nearly all of the big names in our society, whether they're actors or industrialists or inventors, would have never have succeeded if they hadn't had the luck to combine a specific number of traits in a specific place at a specific time. Imagine if Mark Zuckerberg had been born 30, 20, or even 10 years earlier than he was. Imagine if he had been born in a country without such a high technological advantage. He would never have invented Facebook and become the household name he is today.

 

But that's a generalized thing innit, I think in a lot of small individual cases it most certainly is perseverance that serves you best. If you want to do well in a test, study, if you want to get a certain job, educate yourself in it's workings or get experience, if you want to overcome depression, you take your meds, you figure out your triggers, you follow your doctor's advice.

 

I've gone on and on about how luck is a major factor, and that may come across as me saying don't bother applying yourself. That's not what I'm saying. The thing is with luck, is that it's unstable. It may strike now, it may strike later, it may never strike at all. The only thing that you can actually control is how hard you work, and that if luck manages to wing your way, you're in a position to take full advantage of it. Without that hard work, you might get lucky, but you won't be able to capitalize, and in those cases it may as well not have struck at all.

 

tl;dr work hard and work well, but hard work isn't everything. Luck is a factor, even if it's something like you being born in this century or within a specific culture.

 

EDIT: also, everything changes (when the fire nation attacks...) depending on your definition of success. But then we're gonna get philosophical and shit.

 

 

Wow, um... that probably didn't help much. I can see your point, but 'luck' isn't the way to put it. Certain people are more fortunate to

be in positions that help a lot more, but it all comes down to how hard you work. A large amount of these particular positions are made by the individual anyway- Steve Jobs, for example, perhaps had some of the worst starting conditions possible (except for living near silicon valley... lucky sonvbabich) and look what he achieved.

[PK'EZ-54]

I know that feel of being talentless. Like everything is against you all the time. Like your time is running out day after day. When you remember that you have nothing to live for again. That you won't ever care about anyone because you're asexual. That every single bloody thing will stop you from being fast. That you have absolutely no future what so ever. Well do you know what young old pancake says when they feel this way? Nothing actually, because otherwise I'd be talking to myself which damages the stuff-o-meter. 

 

Or what I actually do, realise that being sad is just a feeling. You're not going to let feelings get in the way of stuff and other valuable goods for sale at only £9.99. Are you? Actually I think it would be best if you don't read this... I don't know if this is going to make it worse, better. Blasted! I knew I should have spent that skill point in physiology. That's what I get for reading the wiki. What do they even know? It can be edited by anyone. That is one thing that annoys me about wikis. That you don't know if you can trust them or not. Well I'll be a bagpipe. Back on topic... Just like plow through those feelings. Or you could be fast like me and try to run from them. It actually works ya' know. At least I think so. Wait, feelings aren't actually real. They are just like mind boggldy cake. I don't even know where I was going with this. Ah Finacea 15% gel... This is probably going to get me a ban. 

[DrummerKidJack]

Wow, um... that probably didn't help much. I can see your point, but 'luck' isn't the way to put it. Certain people are more fortunate to

 

be in positions that help a lot more, but it all comes down to how hard you work. A large amount of these particular positions are made by the individual anyway- Steve Jobs, for example, perhaps had some of the worst starting conditions possible (except for living near silicon valley... lucky sonvbabich) and look what he achieved.

But it is luck as well as hard work. You can work incredibly hard, but not get anywhere simply because the thing that you are working hard on isn't in the foreground of our society's consciousness. I'm not talking about stuff like "Oh, Steve Jobs was just lucky that he became a massive success through his part in designing Apple computers and being an incredibly good marketer". He worked damn hard at his job.

 

However, I'm saying that he was lucky in that he was born during the very brief period of human history in which he was able to fully utilize his marketing and design methods. Had he been born a decade earlier, he may never have been able to get to the position he is today simply because he was born too early for him to make an impact.

 

I'm saying this because I know plenty of people who have a better chance of achieving their goals because they were lucky that they were born to rich families, or were lucky to be born in an economically developed country. Just examples, I know there are other factors other than money. It's luck in that they had nothing to do with it personally i.e. the locus of control was outside of themselves. The fact that their family is rich enough to send them to university easily and that in turn helps them achieve their goals of becoming an accountant had nothing to do with the individual. They just lucked out from being born into a rich family.

 

Basically, what I'm trying to get across here is that hard work is a major factor in success. But so is luck. I wasn't specifically responding to depression to be honest, but to this general feeling that is held among a lot of people that successful people simply worked harder than everybody else. That's simply not true.

 

Maybe a little off topic. BACK ON TOPIC HERE: It took my dear sweet mother a full twenty-five-ish years before she realized she wanted to be a teacher. She did a degree in computer science, worked as a programmer back in the 80s before retraining as a teacher, and a damn good one. She's now doing her masters in education as well. My dad, on the other hand, never changed his mind in wanting to work with computers. He's a software developer now (not really, but closest thing I can describe). You may not realize that you have any "special talents" at the moment, but for some people it just takes bloody ages to realize what it is that they want to do.

[Nienshu]

Well, mm opinion to this:

17 and reflecting your life? Damn. There's not much to reflect brah.

Stop bring depressed. My special ability is to crash my car every two weeks into a tree and getting arrested by cops.

Here's a little instruction for happyness: Finish school, go to college, get a job you LIKE and end things with a huuuuuge shit.

If you don't know which job you would like or which would fit you, join the military for a fewyears. An honourful opportunity which forms a goodcharacter. That's what I did.

This all worked for me. Got an awesome job, awesome car, awesome GF and an awesome son (AT least I hope its a son) is on his way.

And dont compare yourself with others. Theres always someone better. Get used to it or die trying.

Also: Stop bring depressed or i'll make you really depressed. Life's good.

[DrummerKidJack]

Stop bring depressed. 

Also: Stop bring depressed or i'll make you really depressed. Life's good.

As someone who has suffered from depression too, I can honestly tell you this is one of the most frustrating things someone can ever tell you.

[EnigmaGrey]

Stop bring depressed or i'll make you really depressed. Life's good.

"Friendly" warning: Threats aren't tolerated here. I'll assume it was meant to be more of a joke than anything.

[RoboMat]

Well, mm opinion to this:

17 and reflecting your life? Damn. There's not much to reflect brah.

Stop bring depressed.

There is nothing much to reflect on at age 17 - How can you tell? Did you live his life?

 

"Stop being depressed" is like one of the most idiotic things one can say to being depressed. It's like saying "stop being an addict" to a drug addict. You can't simply stop being depressed.

 

Also: Stop bring depressed or i'll make you really depressed. Life's good.

A not so friendly warning from me. This isn't tolerated here.

[Nienshu]

Not a joke, but not meant in a "im gonna chop of your legs"- or "im gonna Fall you Princess Herpes"-way, Sa know? Theres just so much more depressing stuff i could think of than a story like this (although I can understand a bit why he feels like this), like running out of money in a stripclub

Oh come on seriously. Everybody has their stuff and many others had to deal with much more. Not saying hes not right to feel like that, just saying theres mich worse thsn thinking about others having special abilities Ort being "better".

But i See where this is going, reporting out.

[RoboMat]

Not a joke, but not meant in a "im gonna chop of your legs"- or "im gonna Fall you Princess Herpes"-way, Sa know? Theres just so much more depressing stuff i could think of than a story like this (although I can understand a bit why he feels like this), like running out of money in a stripclub

Well it doesn't matter wether you can think of a more depressing story or not. This isn't a contest about "who's life sucks more" you know?

[Tomwa]

You remember that one really inconsiderate guy who got banned again? I can't even remember his name

 

Life gets better I swear. As someone who's dealt with depression and even thoughts of suicide (I made attempts and regret them greatly) I can promise you high school is not life. As a legally blind guy I've dealt with some reasonable bad garbage and I can say it does get better. Also the maths required for application's programming isn't that bad, he makes it sound bad but it can be learned relatively easily. I'm a CS Major at Uni now and I'm always willing to help so shoot me up if you need anything. You can PM me on here and we can skype/facebook/whatever.

 

Edit: Neogodhobo that was his name I think I repressed it.

[Suomiboi]

I'm going to add my bit for this little motivational circle we got here going

 

Depression is hopefully and usually a passing thing and as you said you've gotten over yourself. This is where the magic happens: inner motivation. Find something you would like to do be it impossible or really unimaginatively simple but you must like(or preferably love) it. Then just work 3-8 hours on it   every   single   day. If you know in advance you can't do it in a particular day try to think of something that would support it.

 

I know this is probably just annoying but I'm a guitarist trying to be a musician and someday make enough money to support myself with music (and I'm not talking million making rock star here...). IT'S FREAKING TOO HARD!! But regardless I've moved onward in the last 10 years(oh my god it's that long ) that I've played guitar. I work at a 8-9 hour job and when I get home I either grab my guitar, go to band rehearsals or go running (this I'm pretty bad at keeping up though...but must.go.running today!). So I've basically practiced(or just fiddled) 3-8 hours a day for ten years(really?) and I'm still no pro. BUT if someone would come to me and say that I shouldn't try it because It's highly improbable I'd tell them to go home and do something useful with their life.

 

My point being that I know that even if I'm gonna be a broke ass bum I'm not gonna regret not trying. If I wouldn't do it I'd be like many people I've seen that are saying: "yeah I used to play getPlayer():getInstrument(); but then it just sort of dropped. I wish I could play as well as you do!" Everytime I wish I could say did you play 3-8 hours a day did you not stop? Almost anyone who's half witted can play some instrument if they just want it enough and work enough. This applies to about everything. Very few are born that talented and yes its a bummer to see them(I too often stray to jazz tutorial videos on youtube and get nothing but depressed.) but most of the people who are good just work their asses off. This is where the inner motivation comes along: if you really like what you're doing then it doesn't feel like work (most of the time). You have to also constantly remind yourself why you are doing the stuff. Long term goals are worth the short term work.

 

Or just chill.

 

It's a matter of choice basically if you choose to not to do something, you have to do something else. If you choose to do something, you get to do what you chose.

 

(I choose Squirtle btw)

[DrummerKidJack]

Not a joke, but not meant in a "im gonna chop of your legs"- or "im gonna Fall you Princess Herpes"-way, Sa know? Theres just so much more depressing stuff i could think of than a story like this (although I can understand a bit why he feels like this), like running out of money in a stripclub

Oh come on seriously. Everybody has their stuff and many others had to deal with much more. Not saying hes not right to feel like that, just saying theres mich worse thsn thinking about others having special abilities Ort being "better".

But i See where this is going, reporting out.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Humanity 101: How to be a Decent Human Being! Now, here on the board you'll see we've got an excellent example of how not to act when you learn someone has a crippling mental illness. Can you hear me at the back? Oh great, thanks guys. Now, note the comparison of running out of money at an adult entertainment venue with a medically recognized disease. With one of these situations, the worst that could happen is you don't get as many tits rubbed in your face. For the other, you can end up losing all grip on reality and descending into dark depths in your own mind that you never knew existed. Can anyone tell me which is which?

 

Yes, you?

 

Excellent! That's right, depression has exactly 0% overlap with running out of money at a strip club, and to make that comparison, even in a joking way, utterly trivializes the real emotional, mental, social and physical damage depression has on a person! Now onto the second issue. I hope you all did the reading, because that included the description of the fallacious "well it could be worse" argument that the subject here is also using. Well, for those who had a bit too much fun at the stein last weekend, the "well it could be worse" argument is utterly illogical! That's right guys, this is an invalid argument! Even if you do realize and fully comprehend the plight of starving children in Africa, for example, this realization does absolutely nothing for your own mood because often depression partially results from chemical imbalances in the brain and thus cannot be easily fixed by cognitive processes. Not only that, but remember our course objective of not being really really unpleasant? Just imagine being told to just buck up and think of how much worse it could be when you're already potentially on the edge of being suicidal! 

 

Any questions?

 

I'll see you all next week for our lecture on not walking slowly in a big group in the middle of the pavement.

[willow512]

often depression partially results from chemical imbalances in the brain and thus cannot be easily fixed by cognitive processes. 

That's the neurobiological interpretation at least. I know I did the courses and have the degree. The truth of it is debatable as far as I am concerned. I think the chemical imbalances are as much caused by cognitive processes as they cause cognitive processes. It's not a one way street.

 

I have suffered depression myself, tried to find help but the shrink on duty felt I functioned too well to require help. I had this whole Churchillian KBO thing going on (and maybe that did save me) but I felt completely empty inside. Got the scars on my body to prove it.

 

There's one thing however that has become excessively clear to me. A thing that Nienshu expressed rather unelegantly and that I've seen more people get flak for. I agree with you for giving that flak, but the point he failed to convey is also essentially true.

 

We can feel sorry for people suffering depression. But for a large part it's learned passivity. Reinforcing that pasivity won't fix the problem. The hard part in depression is to teach people to fix themselves when they'd rather be passive without alienating them and sending them into the arms of the hosts of people who'd embrace their suffering with open arms.

 

I believe it really IS a matter of choice. Not the kind of choice where you verbally acknowledge one of the alternatives, but one where you pick an alternative with your complete being, you have to be your answer, not just intellectually subscribe to it. And that's often a new concept in our window shopper society. We're not used to those kind of choices, we often don't even realise they exist we just believe we are what we are.

[SiC]

There is luck involved ofcourse. 

But a big mistake to make is to model yourself after the success of people like Zuckerberg and others who 'made it big'. Because not everybody can be like that, otherwise that would be the new 'normal'. The simple fact is that not everybody can be special, because that would make you average too.

 

This might deviate from the point a bit, but it is something that I am concerned with. A big problem of modern society is how it defines quality of life and success. And in a way it adds to your depression too I think.

Society idolizes the rich and those that stand out, and in an offhand kind of way puts down everybody and everything else because it doesn't think much of them. People are often appreciated for the things they own, and I think it is a sick way to look at life.

For example, there are shitloads of homeless people out there. But some of them don't have a home by choice, and consider themselves to be homefree, not homeless. The very word homeless is an insult to them because it insinuates that you are something less, that there is something missing in your life while that might not be the case in your own opinion.

 

Because everything in life comes at a cost, and it is the way you value stuff that determines what you choose to sacrifice. A man might own a house, but in a way that house owns the man too. You can't just leave it, there is upkeep to pay more often than not. So people are forced into work just to keep up with the bills, and the more stuff you have the more you have to keep paying, and the more you have to work. That might not be so bad if you have a job that you enjoy, but for me, the only jobs I can get at present are utterly shitty ones. Right now for instance I work at a recycle centre, emptying sea containers full of garbage consisting of tv's, fridges, and other crap. It is a heavy job, physically demanding, and the wages are shit. I fucking hate doing it, but there is nothing else. 
But once you fall out of the expected road it wants you to take for the sake of being easy to control, society shuns you as a weird guy with a fucked up worthless life, trying to peer pressure you back into the system.

[Kirrus]

This is a really awesome lecture on the subject. Helped me understand the hows of it a bit more:

 

I would chime in as well, as simple, you *cannot* "just" pull yourself out of it. It is totally debilitating and quite deadly. If you're suffering, go to a doctor. You've got an illness - it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Edit;

This is a really good post on it:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

 

Though, for me, I felt more an utter overwhelming sense of sadness, and at it's worst, source-less psychological pain.

[ianopolos]

When i was 20 old life was good i had good job and some girls liked me i could have really pretty blonde but i didnt want relationship i wasnt ready.

Now im 30 old  but i have problem finding girls now well most of them are taken or with kids and dont wanna talk.

I was so depresed i dont have girlfriend and ended in with some group therapy.