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Writings on the wall

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In a similar vein to "Famous last words" comes humorous/grim/unique things written around the world of Zomboid by survivors both living and late. Try to keep individual entries simple, 1 or 2 lines each, something that someone would really write in a hurry and a description of where it was found.

 

-On the front doors of a Giga-Mart:

NOTHING MORE TO EAT HERE - NOT EVEN PEOPLE

 

-On the 4th-floor door to the roof at an apartment:

"No access to heaven."

 

-Carved into a wooden headstone at a roadside memorial by a high-rise building:

"I don't know why he thought he could fly. "

"I guess he died."

"And soon so shall I."

 

-On a whiteboard at an office building:

"Guess I shouldn't have passed up on that business trip."

 

-Spraypainted on the side of a ruined firehouse in three different handwritings:

"Who do we call now?"

"Ghostbusters?"

"They're not ghosts."

 

-Written under a poster for "Scruff McGruff - Take a Bite Out of Crime!" with a bloody handprint on the side:

"Crime took a bite out of me."

 

-Carved into the walls at a police station:

"MACE USELESS. TASERS KNOCK DOWN BUT DO NOT INCAPACITATE. "

"HAD TO EVACUATE! WHO HAD THE KEY TO THE GUN LOCKER?"

"I last saw him beating a door on Main Street - looks infected"

 

-Sloppily scrawled on an interior room of a trashed house:

"someone tell Sally Ann I had fun beating that spoiled ugly brat she never disiplined. the babysitter. "

 

-Neatly written with an ink pen in professional handwriting, on a journal left on a desk in a law office:

"If the last report from the county jail is as bad as it sounds, at least I shall finally have been vindicated for my stance on bringing back the death penalty. If God still has a sense of humor as he passes judgement on us poor souls, perhaps my criminal-coddling opponents will be visited by some old friends of theirs."

 

-On a sheet of lined notepad paper taped to the front door of a private residence:

"Tell mom and dad I eloped with my English teacher before all the roads were blocked off. We've been dating since I was a junior. She has an uncle in the Army - he warned her to go without telling anyone and I was over at her house. If we have a baby girl I promise we'll name her after grandma. I'm sorry."

 

-On the walls of a gymnasium:

"In case of emergency, do NOT put hundreds of panicking and/or sick young people together in a crowded space."

 

-Various chalkboards at the West Point highschool:

"why did the last song i hear have to be our stupid old schol song from the sixties instead of Beyonce or something"

"IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

"the janitor opened all his 'water bottles' in the broom closet and says bring anything good you have. meet on the roof."

"the one damn weekend I do all my damn homework the damn world ends."

"big sister im going too hide in my loker so im safe come and get me!!!!!"

 

-Crudely painted on the inside of a hotel room door:

" 'Infected' doesn't mean 'screw the hot girl after she falls into a coma' you moron. So if you're wondering, the door won't open because it's boarded shut and there's a fridge in front of it."

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On all outside walls of the drag racing control hut:

"NO FLY ZONE IN PLACE - NO EVAC COMING BY AIR"

"stole racecar. they get very bad gas milage and make hella noise. bit all over by horde."

"roses are red, violets are blue, this airstrip's abandoned, and so are me and you"

 

Spraypainted on the StarEplex Cinema:

"Rated 'O' for 'Overrun' - stay out!"

"BIG LIGHT + BIG SOUND = BIG HORDE!"

"if you are watching movies here during the end of the world you are insanely stupid"

"ARENT EVEN ANY PORN MOVIES TO WATCH"

"DONT KNOW HOW TO RUN THE PROJECTORS? KEEP MOVING. THEYRE NOT LIKE A HOME DVD PLAYER."

 

At the railyard, on an empty freight car with its wheels chocked at both ends:

"ALL LOCOMOTIVES LEFT WITH UNINFECTED RAILYARD STAFF."

"wheres the little engine that could when you need him?"

 

 

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Painted on an outbuilding of the Pony Roam-O:

"My little pony, skinny and bony, bit me in the shoulder and tasted like crap."

 

Inside vaults at the Knox Bank on walls:

"Locked ourselves in to escape the horde and don't have shovels or a sledgehammer to make another exit. Genius!"

"always wished to be rich and not pay taxes. forgot to add to live on my own island."

"NO FOOD, NO WATER, PAPER BILLS = LOUSY FIREWOOD."

 

Scrawled on a window sign in a Muldraugh restaurant:

"ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!!! - shout and run in circles until dinner is served

 

Another window sign in a Valley Station restaurant:

the world is one big Pile-O-Crepe now

 

Spraypainted on the walls of large, fenced-in complex:

"Roses are red, Bug spray kills ants -

Don't drink water out of a waste treatment plant!"

 

On both sides of a church's street sign:

"IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH? RUN OR FIND OUT!"
"JESUS ROSE AGAIN. YOU WONT. AVOID VBS CAMPGROUND."

 

On the outside walls of the church itself:

"Atheists said God is dead. God says atheists are dead."

"^ can't he stop after the atheists? please?"

"i don't know wether to be proud that I didn't commit adultery on my grouchy old wife as the world ended or mad for not having sex again for the first time in a decade."

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