The Third Corrupt-A-Wish Thread
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Granted you fall into a permanent, nightmare filled sleep.

I wish I could turn invisible and back at will.

Granted. Your clothes remain visible at all times.

 

I wish that Payday 2 becomes playable.

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They come off production break and in the new episode kill off all main characters.

Including Bruce.

And Alfred.

Thus making the original movies impossible and shredding reality and all that we thought existed and condensing it into an infinite point of pure black. Batman Black.

 

I wish that my internet gets a terabyte of bandwidth. 

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They come off production break and in the new episode kill off all main characters.

Including Bruce.

And Alfred.

Thus making the original movies impossible and shredding reality and all that we thought existed and condensing it into an infinite point of pure black. Batman Black.

 

I wish that my internet gets a terabyte of bandwidth. 

Granted. You're with Comcast.

 

I wish that I had a quantum computer that could run Windows applications fine.

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Granted. You are a fish swimming in a large ocean. Your scales have a gorgeous navy and teal pattern in wavy stripes, and you have a nonspecific, mutable gender.

 

I wish gender-centric oppression was instead pineapple-pizza-eater oppression.

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The pineapple eating species is successfully imprisoned in cells made of their beloved demon-food in the antarctic, left on a large prison barge to drift across the oceans until deaths sweet embrace claimed them.

 

Unfortunately, however, their corpses and the pineapples mutated into a deadly pineapple-people-mutant species. It was like the Last of us but with more pineapples. Everybody was pineappled. Nobody was safe. You've doomed us all.

 

I wish for more dramatic wish corruptions.

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The pineapple eating species is successfully imprisoned in cells made of their beloved demon-food in the antarctic, left on a large prison barge to drift across the oceans until deaths sweet embrace claimed them.

 

Unfortunately, however, their corpses and the pineapples mutated into a deadly pineapple-people-mutant species. It was like the Last of us but with more pineapples. Everybody was pineappled. Nobody was safe. You've doomed us all.

 

I wish for more dramatic wish corruptions.

Granted.

 

I love puppies! I wish that puppies lived forever.

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Granted! All puppies are alive. Their sweet tender hearts need nourishment though, and only potentially enough kibble for 2% of them, supposing all of society's manufacturing was devoted to kibble. Developing a taste for flesh, puppies are the One, the Singlular occupant of the planet.

 

I wish I had a platform for meaningful discussions of aplatonic polyphagic pluviophilia.

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The crops dry up, the seas empty and the riverbeds lay bare as mankind is doomed to fight and brawl over bottled water, pepsi, coke, 7up, doctor pepper - and every other softdrink available before the last survivor dies from diarrhoea and dehydration.

 

I wish for free insta dental care

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you notice every little menial detail about every single lover you ever encounter across your life.

You die alone and frail; However all your ex's say you have an amazing attention to detail.

 

I wish for bushfires.

Everywhere.

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Granted! A rock band, two former presidents, and a former presidential candidate all fire guns, divest companies of their employees, and commit arson on a very regular basis. You die sometime eventually and it's all just a very unpleasant experience.

 

I wish I had a ninety-minute-minimum daily supply of that sweet, sweet Positive Attention® From Safe™ People for the rest of my life, forever.

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GRANTED! You now live in a mental asylum, in a padded cell. The staff is very nice to you. You never have to worry about the bad men, ever again. You are safe.

I wish for a job that I don't hate.

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Granted, you get a job you love; unemployment! Yes, you are one of the lucky few people who live in shitty flats in terrible conditions, with barely any food, and no luxuries. But hey, at least you like your job.

 

I wish for better WWE storylines

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Granted, you get a job you love; unemployment! Yes, you are one of the lucky few people who live in shitty flats in terrible conditions, with barely any food, and no luxuries. But hey, at least you like your job.

 

I wish for better WWE storylines

Granted. They were so complex that nobody could understand it and scholars tried to figure it out for thousands of years before it was lost to the sands of time.

 

I wish that I had a supercomputer.

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