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The Third Corrupt-A-Wish Thread


Kirrus

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you become the new version of Rip Van Winkle, as you sleep, and sleep, and sleep, and sleep. when you awake, you find we are testing PZ 666:Hells Zombies Return, Yet Again. (and you are still listed as a Forum Admin)

 

 

 

i wish i had a more interesting avatar

EDIT: found a better one...

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  • 3 weeks later...

Granted. Every person you know is replaced by Bernie Sanders. You wake up and your significant other is now a wrinkly, old man who won't stop talking to you about trickle-down economics.

You enter a Starbucks, the smell of $1000 perfume ripe in the air, with a loud atmosphere of normal people talking. You sigh in relief, only to turn around and see that your barista is now Bernie Sanders. He gives you a "#feelTheBern" mug with extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-steeped tea and hands you a "Vote for Bernie 2016" pamphlet.

The Bernening has started. You look over your shoulder and you see a group of Bernies viciously tackling and turning survivors. The sound of police sirens fills the air and floods the store with pulsating red and blue.

Not sure whether to be relieved or afraid, you avidly watch the police cruiser. After a tense ten seconds, a Bernie Sanders opens the door and steps out.

The customers of the restaurant you are in turn to look at you with hunger in their eyes - they have all felt the Bern. You yell in disbelief and fright before bolting off in the other direction, only to find that the doors have been sealed shut with "#SandersForPresident2016" stickers.
Suddenly, the horde starts dissipating in two opposite directions as a holy light permeates through the room. It's Bernie Sanders. He bellows in a deep, deep voice; "Embrace the light."

Your vision fades to black. You have felt the Bern.

 

(Sorry, got a bit carried off there)

 

 

I wish that Windows 10 isn't a trap.

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Granted, Windows now only allows CisGendereds to use it. Everyone that wasn't immediately locked out ditches the operating system, as it is quickly outmoded by superior operating systems. It is forgotten. The Superior Operating System is awesomer and is written by a rad trans girl, but after a long life, she dies before immortality is a feasible choice for her.

 

Granted, every computer that solely runs windows is now a tarp. Millions are lost.

 

I wish I had three tiny sapient beetle fairies in lolita costumes for friends, who encouraged and consulted me for important life events.

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Granted. Every person you know is replaced by Bernie Sanders. You wake up and your significant other is now a wrinkly, old man who won't stop talking to you about trickle-down economics.

You enter a Starbucks, the smell of $1000 perfume ripe in the air, with a loud atmosphere of normal people talking. You sigh in relief, only to turn around and see that your barista is now Bernie Sanders. He gives you a "#feelTheBern" mug with extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-steeped tea and hands you a "Vote for Bernie 2016" pamphlet.

The Bernening has started. You look over your shoulder and you see a group of Bernies viciously tackling and turning survivors. The sound of police sirens fills the air and floods the store with pulsating red and blue.

Not sure whether to be relieved or afraid, you avidly watch the police cruiser. After a tense ten seconds, a Bernie Sanders opens the door and steps out.

The customers of the restaurant you are in turn to look at you with hunger in their eyes - they have all felt the Bern. You yell in disbelief and fright before bolting off in the other direction, only to find that the doors have been sealed shut with "#SandersForPresident2016" stickers.
Suddenly, the horde starts dissipating in two opposite directions as a holy light permeates through the room. It's Bernie Sanders. He bellows in a deep, deep voice; "Embrace the light."

Your vision fades to black. You have felt the Bern.

 

(Sorry, got a bit carried off there)

 

 

I wish that Windows 10 isn't a trap.

 

That was amazingly written.

 

Granted. You get a bagel. Unfortunately someone messes up your order and instead you get a deformed, mutilated and very aggressive beagle.

 

I wish for the dlc on every game I own

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Granted. But fish Cirrhosis is no joke and before long your little pisces pal is on life support, holding your hand as you tearfully recount the good times.

Remember going to the carnival? 2 dollar margaritas all night!

Remember Mardi Gras? You both got so wasted.

Remember when you wished for a fish?

Remember wishing he would like wine?

Well he did, didn't he. He loved that finnish wine, no matter how strong that finnish wine was or how much he drank every night.

You made him love it with your wish. Alcoholics Anonymous couldn't help him. Therapy couldn't help him. You couldn't help him.

The fin in your hand goes slack as the heart monitor flatlines.

Some nights the phone rings and when you pick it up you can hear the fishes widow breathing on the other end. She never says anything... just sobs a little before hanging up.

 

 

I wish I had a cleansing wipe to clear some of the schmutz off my monocle.

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Granted. But as you wipe the shmotz off of your monocole it screams in terror saying "PLEASE NO. GOD NO PLEASE NOT IN MY EYES AAAAH" But you continue to do it...you know why? Cause you love to wipe it down Hardee and harder until it begs for it.

It has also seen everything you have seen and starts talking about it out loud. EVERYTHING.

I wish for my fish back.

:C

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Wish granted. You only get a single fish back, and he has a new blond hairdue. He talks non-stop about how he wants to deport all anchovies, and to build a great, great wall around the Pacific Ocean to keep out sardines.

He eventually becomes President of the United Seas and starts an anchovy massacre. Futurama partially predicted the future!
 

I wish I had 4 arms.

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Wish granted. You only get a single fish back, and he has a new blond hairdue. He talks non-stop about how he wants to deport all anchovies, and to build a great, great wall around the Pacific Ocean to keep out sardines.

He eventually becomes President of the United Seas and starts an anchovy massacre. Futurama partially predicted the future!

 

I wish I had 4 arms.

 

I GET A DONALD TRUMP FISH...SWEET. (is danald twump supporter :3)

 

granted. but they are dinosaur t-rex arms

 

i wish for a speck of dust

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