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The Third Corrupt-A-Wish Thread


Kirrus

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They come off production break and in the new episode kill off all main characters.

Including Bruce.

And Alfred.

Thus making the original movies impossible and shredding reality and all that we thought existed and condensing it into an infinite point of pure black. Batman Black.

 

I wish that my internet gets a terabyte of bandwidth. 

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They come off production break and in the new episode kill off all main characters.

Including Bruce.

And Alfred.

Thus making the original movies impossible and shredding reality and all that we thought existed and condensing it into an infinite point of pure black. Batman Black.

 

I wish that my internet gets a terabyte of bandwidth. 

Granted. You're with Comcast.

 

I wish that I had a quantum computer that could run Windows applications fine.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

The pineapple eating species is successfully imprisoned in cells made of their beloved demon-food in the antarctic, left on a large prison barge to drift across the oceans until deaths sweet embrace claimed them.

 

Unfortunately, however, their corpses and the pineapples mutated into a deadly pineapple-people-mutant species. It was like the Last of us but with more pineapples. Everybody was pineappled. Nobody was safe. You've doomed us all.

 

I wish for more dramatic wish corruptions.

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The pineapple eating species is successfully imprisoned in cells made of their beloved demon-food in the antarctic, left on a large prison barge to drift across the oceans until deaths sweet embrace claimed them.

 

Unfortunately, however, their corpses and the pineapples mutated into a deadly pineapple-people-mutant species. It was like the Last of us but with more pineapples. Everybody was pineappled. Nobody was safe. You've doomed us all.

 

I wish for more dramatic wish corruptions.

Granted.

 

I love puppies! I wish that puppies lived forever.

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Granted! All puppies are alive. Their sweet tender hearts need nourishment though, and only potentially enough kibble for 2% of them, supposing all of society's manufacturing was devoted to kibble. Developing a taste for flesh, puppies are the One, the Singlular occupant of the planet.

 

I wish I had a platform for meaningful discussions of aplatonic polyphagic pluviophilia.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Granted! A rock band, two former presidents, and a former presidential candidate all fire guns, divest companies of their employees, and commit arson on a very regular basis. You die sometime eventually and it's all just a very unpleasant experience.

 

I wish I had a ninety-minute-minimum daily supply of that sweet, sweet Positive Attention® From Safe™ People for the rest of my life, forever.

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Granted, you get a job you love; unemployment! Yes, you are one of the lucky few people who live in shitty flats in terrible conditions, with barely any food, and no luxuries. But hey, at least you like your job.

 

I wish for better WWE storylines

Granted. They were so complex that nobody could understand it and scholars tried to figure it out for thousands of years before it was lost to the sands of time.

 

I wish that I had a supercomputer.

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