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Spiffo Skin


Fuklebark

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Apologies if this has already been suggested before, as it seems like somewhat of an obvious idea but... Spiffo. As a PC.

 

Dream with me a moment dear friends. Cast about to winds winds of social ridicule your entire life for an odd genetic abnormality, thanks to Mommy Dearest's job at the local nuclear power plant. Forced to take a job as a mascot for sports teams and local businesses. An aborted career as a kids TV show host. Lost in the depths of your own existential crisis, you drift off to sleep amid an ocean of unshed tears in your lonely bachelor apartment.

 

The sun rises the next morning to the sound of war. Your friends and neighbors being torn apart by their former loved ones. The star football QB who taunted you relentlessly in school is now hangs by his eye-nerves from the steely grip of his cheerleader sweetheart. Your mother and father are long gone, out of Kentucky as fast as their car could take them. Everyone you've ever known, and never given a damn about is dead, but still shuffling about, seeking out the living.

 

A strange sense of calm fills you with this knowledge, and the acceptance of it. You grab a kitchen knife out of your drawer, and clutch it tight within your paws. This you understand. It's as if you were born for this moment. At last... your time has come.

 

Right you zombie bastards, square go. Let's f*cking do this.

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