End.

[Ideacake]

A man. He slumps against the wall, clutching his stomach and dropping his pistol. Pain. Pain is all he can think of.

 

His skin, pale. He shudders, struggling to breath. It's cold, but his blood is warm.

 

He mutters under his breath. He knows he can't move on.

 

He leans over, the pain obvious in his eyes. He glances at the wound on his belly.

 

The machete had cut deep. Too deep. It hurts. He knows if he doesn't hold onto the wound, his insides will be dangerously exposed.

 

Shit, he says. Not much time.

 

He hears a groan from outside.

 

Why did he have to attack him? Seems senseless to the man. I'm not the enemy, he thinks. Those monsters are.

 

He glances at the corpse beside him, and the machete beside it. He looks over to the small hole in the body's neck.

 

He groans, slumping more. 

 

The source of the noise from outside notices, and starts banging on the door he sits next to.

 

The man sighs, noticeably paler. He looks to the gun beside him.

 

He slowly reaches towards the gun, the door bending and cracking under the monster outside's weight. More join in.

 

He wraps his fingers around the gun, raising it towards his head.

 

He grunts, barely able lift the gun.

 

He can't remember if it's loaded or not.

 

Oh well, he thinks. 

 

"If I'm going to die, it'll be on my own terms."

[Ideacake]

Hello!

This is really my first proper short story on a forum. I made it simple for a reason. I like short, simple stories. I don't believe a story has to be incredibly long for it to be, well, a story. Really, this is a little cutting of a larger one I thought of, but I am satisfied with this. Tell me if you enjoyed it or not. I do read comments.

I did short, stuccato sentences purposefully. I was going to do it "a dark room" style, with no capitals, but I thought that might be overdoing it.

Question is, is this a standalone or a taster?

You decide, but be aware if I do continue or reveal the man's past, I will probably continue using this "odd" format.

Thanks! 

[Rathlord]

I like it. I think if I were writing it, I might cut the contractions out (except the dialogue ones) as they can make sentences feel more clipped and broken, which seems to be the sort of style you were going for.

 

Simple, but quite good. I'd like to see more!

[Ideacake]

Thank you very much. I think I will elaborate on the story now.

I like it. I think if I were writing it, I might cut the contractions out (except the dialogue ones) as they can make sentences feel more clipped and broken, which seems to be the sort of style you were going for.

 

Simple, but quite good. I'd like to see more!

Can I get your opinion on where I should elaborate? Should I backtrack, or continue afterwards with a new person linked with the man. I'd like some insight on that.

[Rathlord]

Were it me looking to branch off this story, you could pick up with a person finding your current protagonist, perhaps wondering what happened to him/why, and moving on from there.

 

I could also envision myself doing an entire series about "The End" of survivors and all of the multitudinous ways it could happen. The danger there is that you just write bland material without a point- if you chose this route, you need to make sure you've a meaningful reason for each plot- something you want the viewer to take away.

[Ideacake]

Were it me looking to branch off this story, you could pick up with a person finding your current protagonist, perhaps wondering what happened to him/why, and moving on from there.

 

I could also envision myself doing an entire series about "The End" of survivors and all of the multitudinous ways it could happen. The danger there is that you just write bland material without a point- if you chose this route, you need to make sure you've a meaningful reason for each plot- something you want the viewer to take away.

That "Ending" of a multitude of survivors was my original plan, to an extent. Another idea of mine was to write about linked fates, people who knew each other or who came across each other. Not all of them die at the end. They are probably just survival stories that have ties.

Here's an idea I had based off a famous poem. [sorta]

I was going to do a very successful survivor, a person who had everything they needed to survive an extended period of time. Totally safe....

But also completely alone.

I'll link the poem here if you want to know how it turns out.

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174248

Also, I don't think I'll have any names in any of the stories. I think the unnamed characters suit this style better.

 

Also, I released the next another story in the series. This one is the Prologue. <  That is also the title.